THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
