Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
