maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
