Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
