Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The power of my boobs compel you
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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