I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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