Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
