sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she woke up with a sticky ear
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
