yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
