i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
that's an acceptable place to lick
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
