Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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