I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
