just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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