I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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