I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
