So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
