You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
