So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
