I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
