I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
