I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
