Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
