It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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