am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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