Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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