i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
