Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.