its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
