He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
