Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize