if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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