You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
