I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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