I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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