You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
