your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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