What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
