we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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