I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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