Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
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The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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