Buhtt sex?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
