I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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