dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
