It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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