She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
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She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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