Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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