sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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