thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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