i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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