Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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