my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Randomize
