I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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