I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
