Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
