I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
