I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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