After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
