At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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