$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
